God doesn’t make sense

This part of my life I call it, confused. Have you ever been to that point where everything is not making sense? Sometimes God doesn’t make a lot of sense and especially when we feel like he is denying us what we really want.  I think if we would be asked to make some choices in life or order it like we do every time we go to the cafeteria then it would be crazy. I know I would give an order like, “God I will take a happy life, with a beautiful wife and two extra plates of gorgeous kids, a glass of stress free job and a of a lovely home for a dessert,” crazy if you think of this literally, but this is exactly what we do sometimes when we go to God.

God being our father sometime puts himself to the point of us not being able to understand him, he tells you to ask for your heart desires yet he says no every time he realize it’s not aligned to his will. That is crazy again, why would I tell you to ask for all that you want and after asking then I tell you that you have to choose from my list. This is not making sense at all, why tell you to ask for all that you want then still give you limitations. God will never make sense if we limit his nature to our thoughts. We can only understand God when we read from the bible who he really is.

God says he has better plans for us to prosper us and not to harm us, but what if his plans means us suffering to that point where he wants us, what if his plans means us not having that which we have now or desire in our lives, then we won’t look forward to those plans. Remember that God knows us more than anybody in this life and if you don’t believe me then try reading from the psalms 139. My resent prayers have been unrealistic but very honest, am sure I have never been this real in my prayers, but I feel like God is really not hearing my prayers but I think its coz they are all what I want and not what he want for me. Maybe I should change this, but that might also mean I will be giving up my hope of having what I have been praying for, am in this state of dilemma.

In this resent times, his will is something that I really don’t want to look forward to, but I guess that is what I should be asking for. Am scared he might give me something I don’t want for now, but am sure it will be what I need then when he gives me. This is the problem with human being, we can’t see beyond our sense and that is why he is not making sense coz we don’t have enough sense to understand him. His will and my desires are always in constant battle and my head and heart are the victims of that fight.

All these things don’t have any rational explanation, but our belief in God and his will is nothing rational or scientific, and we can’t spare our hearts from this belief. I think I have been looking for something rational but that is not the case in Gods court. There are plenty of things that are true but not making sense and the problem with me and many who are like me is that we expect God to make sense, but he doesn’t  and wont. He will not make sense to me than I will make sense to an ant.  He is not in our caliber and he is far more than what we can think or imagine and to him be the glory for ever and ever.

Am learning surrendering in his arms, and leaving it all at his feet, am learning the way of denying myself picking up my cross and following him.  I want his word to be the light unto my paths. As I walk through this narrow way to his arms am learning how to take it one day at a time with him and letting him to be my all. He is not making sense now to my limited mind but am not going to wait for him to make sense coz he will never. Nothing is impossible for him, and as long as he has not left us him making no sense in our lives is the most sensible thing for us right now.

Wake up let us journey on.