Understanding myself, part 2

Today we continue on our journey of understanding ourselves. The last time we realized the three personalities that are in us, and we delved deep into the first one the C part. I know that some of you don’t really agree with that ideology but if you did your homework of self-analyzing then am sure you can see the truth of this entire subject. Many times I have heard from different people complaining and saying statements like, “I feel like am his mum or something, can’t he grow up, he is so immature,” and I have always found myself saying that I will never want to date a lady whom I will start parenting.

Human beings are relational beings and that means they must have some common grounds for the relationship to be smooth. Whenever this personality is portrayed two people need to think alike, they both need to be adults. An Adult personality has always contravened the childish personality. When people talk of serious stuff then the childishness has to take a nap and a really deep one. Conflicts arise whenever we handle things with the wrong personality. We need to understand when and where we have to be adults and when and where we can be childish. Whenever people are in a social gathering having fun and expressing their childish part by dancing and shouting in excitement, then we need not to start reasoning and analyzing the essence of all that

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I love the fact that our loving father also the creator made us all unique in so many ways, wow the father is really creative I tell you. Imagine you are the only you in this entire universe and there can only be one you at a time. Having said that then we need to realize that everybody reacts differently to every situation and our three personalities are also expressed with uniqueness just like our natural nature. Take an example, have you seen when girls meet after 3 days, they shout like crazy. They never care who is looking at them, a true indication of the childish part in them. Ladies please don’t get me wrong here, I don’t mean to say that you are childish; I ‘m just saying that that is a natural expression of the first personality. Look at men, when their teams scores, most of them forget there manners, jump without thinking where they are going to land, shout and blow the annoying loud vuvuzellas, that is natural.

When it comes to being an adult, a clear distinction needs to be drawn. We need to see the transition. When talking things that needs attention and reasoning then maturity needs to be portrayed, we need to mature up at that point something that everyone has the ability to do am sure. It’s really of great importance that these two personalities are not confused or used in place of the other. Our daily interaction needs us to grow up and think like adults. This is important in the conflict resolutions, in solving problems and also in associating with people of different calibers.

Most of the problems we are experiencing in our social world right now are just as a result of confused personalities. Most of the divorces are not drawn from unfaithfulness; people just become tired of trying to understand the other one. The wars in the communities are because we lack the reasoning ability of an adult. Those grudges we walk with daily, is because we have allowed our C part to dominate our lives and denied the A part a chance to dance. C.S. Lewis once wrote that; critics, who treat ‘adult’ as a term of approval instead of a merely descriptive word, cannot be adults themselves. Adulthood needs to describe the person in accordance to behavior not physical appearance, age, or the social class they found themselves in. 

Both C part and the A part are important in our day to day lives, but for sure not complete without the P part, i.e the Parent part. But let us think through this before we sum up our journey of understanding ourselves.

Wake up lets journey on…

Understanding myself, part 1

Balance of personality is one of the hardest things to do especially in a relationship. People have different personalities and totally unique characters. The angry types are there the quiet kind too. The cleaning ones and careless ones, people have been married to all forms of characters and still survived the nightmares that are supposed to last till death knocks at the doors of life. That is a very long time to have to live in a nightmare, and for sure no marriage or relationship is supposed to last in such kind of rocky grounds. Am sure you have heard people say, mmmm he is not my type, or he gets so much into my nerves, we just can’t get along but he question is why? Why does he get into your precious tiny nerves, why can’t you get along, why?

In every grown up human being there are always three personalities that are very evident; the child part, adult part and the parent part. Every person can become childish and with this I don’t mean eating the soil ground or crying every time your parents don’t come home, but its more than that. An adult think around ideas, gives opinions, makes decisions and argue out ideas, a personality that should be in every one. Parents are responsible, they point out directions, give orders, they lead and protect, parents defend their beloved ones and they provide too, in your personality that is a must.

People think that a sense of humor makes you not serious, but what they forget is that laughter makes us live longer. Sometimes the excitement of a child needs to be seen in our serious faces.  I believe that children are the only people who don’t hide their feelings. They know how to bring their characters with honesty and without being ashamed of what we will think about them. Kids are very truthful, honest and they know how to trust, that  is a great character that should not lack in us, no wonder Jesus said that unless we become like them, then no heaven for all of us.

In a relationship context this personality is important, we need to be open to our feelings, we need to be honest with our spouses and tell them the truth that is in our minds, we need to trust them with our hearts and decisions, we need to humble ourselves and be happy with what we have at the moment. All these can be learnt from kids, so next time you call your boyfriend or girlfriend, childish then you are lacking a very important trait of the human genetic makeup.

Have you seen when kids are angry?  They tend to cry a lot, they can whine and do all the things that they can think about, they utter words in their baby language and fight whatever they find at their disposal. That is what a child should do, they don’t have what we call anger management and I am not shocked to see such kind of habits in grown up especially in advanced modes. When grown-ups are mad they tend to utter things that don’t makes sense, some tremble and throw things, some break glasses and turn over the tables, a true proof that in every person there is a childish part. It’s so normal for such things to come about, it’s in born. There is always that part of everyone that will never grow up, actually it just get better with time.  

People find it hard to relate to others because they things they are childish and not mature, but remember maturity don’t come with age, but responsibilities, it’s about balancing the elasticity of desires and contentment, which kids can be very good at. Being a child once in a while is a normal thing if you look at it the above perspective. It’s a personality that helps us understand ourselves, so it’s not a weakness or anything to be ashamed of. But like I said there are three personalities which need balancing for us to relates well with one another, the other two need to accompany the child part of our lives, but thinks around the first one first, analyze yourself and ask yourself questions like, how much childish am I? Or do I have a child part at all?

Wake up lets journey on…

Going back to the roots

The late Lucky Dube once sang a song about going back to the roots where he says that reggae music is all that he needed, unfortunately that proved to be a lie, but after listening to that song again I realized his passion for reggae music and the necessity of going back to the original copy of everything. This made me think about the roots of Christianity. Once upon a time Christianity was one of the most influential religious groups and one of the most respected and highly valued faith in the race of mankind, but that remains be once upon a time. I remember those days we went to Sunday school and sang songs about our father of faith Abraham, and how we are one of his sons, and how the song baby Jesus was sang with passion and meaning. I remember being told the importance of reading and praying every day for the basis of growth and being encouraged to read and memorize the bible verses, which are still so fresh in my goofy head.

But the new world order brought a different order of everything, where the human race are allowed to do whatever they feel like doing, whether in church or not. Individualism is taking over communalism of the Christian faith, Christianity was relational, it was about us living like Jesus did in the community. Jesus fed the hungry, he healed the sick, showed compassion to sinners, the bible records that wherever he went he did good. That was one of the best examples he left us with. Am not trying to be judgmental at this juncture but let’s reason together, those passionate, firing Christian of the old times are not there anymore, no one want to be labeled ‘spiritual’, it’s not advisable in the jurisdiction of our generation to say that you are a born again, actually its more stylish when people see how well you are integrated into the world.

The character of Christians is so much wanting, our faith and action head in totally opposite direction. We preach grace in church and sin with her, we desire mercy and ignore her needs, we wants forgiveness from the father yet denied it to his servants, we still sing how we will have a big party in heaven yet we still sent them away those who knock at our doors. Think with me here, is this Christianity? Is this what our heavenly father love seeing? Isn’t this what the bible calls hypocrisy?

Talk about our conscious, some of it is totally seared; it’s not there at all, it’s missing, died ages ago. Just like Dube we need to realize the need of going back to the roots, and not of reggae but of our faith. We need to realize the importance of integrity and fear of our heavenly father. Let’s search our hearts, is Jesus still living there? Is he still the lord our lives or just reduced to that guy who forgives, and hear our cries whenever things are not working according to our will. Pause here for a minute and think, our will; it’s now about our will not his. God has been reduced to the machine that make our dreams come true, and when he can’t do that he is easily replaceable with anything that can make that happen quickly.

I have nothing against the gays, but the act and everything associated with it is sinful otherwise God would have awarded the people in Sodom and Gomorra. Fornication has not been passed as okay in the bible. Go check your bibles, it’s still sinful to look at a woman lustfully, and by the way if you think the wages of sins were promoted to forgiveness and happy life then here is a surprise, it has not. Going back to our roots means doing the fathers will in everything recorded I in his love letter the bible, it means us living as a community, living with integrity and love, helping one another rise up that the point of godliness and righteousness.

 Let’s be old school, listening to the bible not the televangelists with the interest of appeasing our ears and lead us to hell. Just like Paul let us desire to fight the good fight and finish the race before waiting for the crown. Let’s not fight as boxers beating the air, or runners who run aimlessly but let’s bring our bodies under our subjection, least we are left when those we preached to are escorted into the pearls gates.

Wake up lets journey on.

Dear father

How are you doing today? After reading your love letter last time I kept wondering if I should write you back or just stick with my thoughts coz you know them anyway, but today I decided to write. Father I don’t despise your love or take it for granted, I know that you love me and really care about me, buts sometimes it’s just hard to see it coz the way  you show it is sometimes not that impressive. Father sometimes life challenges us strongly that it leaves us physically and spiritually challenged. I know in such times we are supposed to stand firm and still and trust you but father how do we just trust you when we think you are not hearing our plea?

 Father I hate to question your integrity and decision making for as you said in your letter that you are God and we are just human, but father look, you are the one who made us like this, you are the one who placed this doubting heart in us and you are the one who gave us this mind, father sometimes it’s really hard to know how to handle all these situations that we are facing without doubt being born in our hearts, and now am really scared that it will even reach to a point of running away from you just because am scared to trust you fully with my life.

Daddy, it’s not like I don’t appreciate your love and the fact that you know me and have better plans for me, but lord wait just a minute, have you ever thought that sometimes we don’t know what you have planned for us and that is why we really want to live for now? Father if you will be in my position then maybe you will get me better. I want to believe in your every word but father sometimes I can’t coz am just human. I have seen your awesome deeds in my life and I appreciate entirely with all my heart and sometimes I wish I could come to the position of not wanting more, but again that’s what makes me human and you God.

Honestly father there are a lot of things that I really don’t understand, first of all I don’t know why I should read the book of revelation,  lord have you read that book? It’s scary and some things I don’t even understand. Father, the picture of weird creatures in heaven is scary and sometimes makes me feel like the earth is better. I have heard some of my friend argue that if heaven is like earth then nobody will desire to be there and sometimes I think there is some truth in what they say. Father I don’t understand where your will stops and my free will starts, I don’t know if what I am doing is what you want of me or I should do something different, all these things eludes me.

Father there are a lot of things that I would like to say but am scared that it might get out of hand and I find myself winning and complaining, but all in all sometimes am not so impressed in your methods of handling my life which technically I know it’s not even mine. Sometime i wish that you could let me handle it in some kind of direction that I want, but am sure you won’t let me coz you don’t want me to make mistakes. Father you have said that I should not be afraid, but how do you expect me not to when a lot of things are happening, when people are fighting all over, when we have a state of insecurity in our nation, when cancer has become common like a fever? How will I not be afraid when I see people with masters and degrees not having jobs, when I see street kids all over without homes? Father I don’t want to be afraid but i just don’t know how.

Father I  am here waiting again for your reply but you know my heart, and you know that I love you too, you know that I want to trust you and live for you, and I just hope you will make that possible for me. My prayer is that you will forgive me for my many foolish mistakes that I keep on making, and that you will search my heart and lead me into your way everlasting. I want to live for you for sure for nothing gives me satisfaction as to live for you. You are my all in all and I want to believe in you even when it’s not making any sense and even when I don’t feel like doing so. I am here lord, use me as you want.

From your beloved son.