Some few
days ago a thought came knocking at the door of my head. It was those thoughts that come seeking for attention,
shouting so hard, “you have to focus on me!” and so I did not coz I wanted to
but just because I didn’t want to break my thoughts’ heart. I was torn between care
and truth. Have you ever found yourself in those places where you want to care
about some body’s feelings but at the same time you want to tell them the truth? Maybe those who are in a relationship be it
married or on that road, you might relate to what I am talking about. For the men, have you ever been faced with
questions like, “honey do you think am fat?” what do you say if they are really
fat? Or questions like “sweety did you like the soup?” Do you go like, “mmmmm honey
honestly speaking I think you should start doing some jogging and start using
that recipe that my mother brought you!!!” if you want an instant divorce then
say that.
Being
truth full in a relationship without breaking people is not an easy thing. Have
you ever dated those people who don’t arrange or clean ‘the remote’ kind of
dudes, or the freaking clean ladies who clean everything all the time? How do
you handle those weird behaviors your partners portray in a relationship? People
have argued that it’s better to date someone for like 2 or 3 years before
marriage? Not that I don’t agree with this duration of time, but my question is
why 2 years and not one month or why 2 years and not 10? My point is, if we are
giving ourselves time to learn someone’s behaviors then we need forever to do
so. We are just scared to be committed and to bring ourselves to the point of
accepting one another they ways they are.
Somebody
said that the best lover is the one that you can be stupid around and they don’t
go like; “can you stop acting like a child!” someone who will tell you am in love
with you stupid guy. Someone who says you look like a gang star but is not
ashamed to be associated with you. Now for me that is the best lover. Relationships
only become hard when three thing lack; trust, communication and sacrifices.
For us
to relate well we must learn to trust the ways kids do. We must come to that
point where we can be tossed in the air but still confident that we are going
to land on safe hands. Trust starts by us trusting God, and then we can be able
to trust one another. Communication springs out the sweet waters of honesty. We
can only learn to be honest if we learn to communicate, and that means one
person speaking, another one listening and vice versa, but if the two, that is
listening or talking happen simultaneously from both communicating parties,
then there is no communication.
Sacrifices
are not easy to offer and they always come with prices to pay. Some people
value quality time, some value shopping for gifts or breakfast served in bed,
some love to be told how lovely they look and some just want to be held for
some time. All these things entail sacrifices, and this happens from both
parties. Both must be ready to sacrifice their time, money, comfort zones and their
preferences for the sake of the other person, otherwise nothing will ever work.
I believe
these three things create a safe environment for relationships but not the
foundation. Foundation of a relation is built on values from God. Any relationship
copied from the way Christ relates to the church is a good relationship that is,
loving the way Christ loved the church and submitting in a godly way the way
the church should submit to Jesus. Most of
our relations lack growth coz we have planted on the wrong grounds. God being the
first and the last means we have to involve him in all we do. Building our
relationship on Godly foundations is the secret to a happy life…
Wake up
lets journey on.
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